I hate

That I've made it in my head
that being human is wrong.

But I have.
I don't like a lot of people.
But I like some.

and I shouldn't have to feel bad
for liking humans
but i do
because everybody seems insignificant to me.
Even myself.

So really, all I want to do
is attach myself to a satellite
that's been thrown out in to the universe
in hopes of seeing
if maybe there are others out there like earth.

I mean it's so insane
to look
at a picture of outerspace
and to think
that some how
us organisms
were somehow instilled with the ability to THINK
let alone
see, and hear- whatever SEEING and HEARING really are.
because who really even knows if they're not just the certain structure of molecules hitting our own molecules in a certain way.
*sigh*
I wish I could say this
so it could come out
as astounding as it looks in my head.



even though
if there was
it wouldn't mean anything
to anyone but us.

i feel really dizzy. like i might pass out.
and i can't tell if this migraine
is due to lack of a properly working immune system
or due to overwhelming myself.

also
i've decided to stop swearing
because it's so uncleanly to me.
i mean
i don't mind people that do it
it just...
doesn't fit with my persona.

i feel really sick.