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i can see myself disintegrating in to dust
and being blown in a hundred and seventy seven- no, a hundred and seventy eight- directions.
i'm perching on top of sand dunes, and i'm stuck between brown toes that trod to God's first born lump of land. i'll get to fall out of sandles at the centre of the world, or get stuck between some camel's big teeth, unbeknownst to even him.

i don't remember ever feeling all of myself at one time

but you make me come together
and suddenly, all i know is that every single tiny little grain of sand that makes up my being is ok.
i said i'd never let anybody be the glue that holds me together, and i still have no intention of letting you. but i can't help it if it all comes back to center whenever your around
and i can't help it if i like that
and if i like you.
you're the type of person that can make me forget about everything.
not many people are that captivating to me.
in fact, i don't remember anyone ever being that captivating to me.

i like when you talk
because you make me laugh, and you're interesting, and you're genuine, and you have such a nice voice, and the structures of your sentences make me happy.
i like when you laugh, and when you smile, and move your hands, and make faces, and apologize, even when there's nothing to apologize for, and the way you're so nice, and loyal
and not even willing to fuck over a friend.

but YOU
i'm begging YOU
not to play on his loyalty.
i'm begging YOU to please, just let me be happy.
YOU said yourself you never loved me.
We haven't been we, for so long now, and I know that I've grown healthier because of it.
Don't do this to me, i'm begging you.
Stay out of my life, like I'd intended, when I put this to an end.