i wish something would stimulate me.

the other day i saw a man with hair down to his ankles.

it was all knotted looking and nappy

and he had a red cut off t-shirt on

that was tucked in to these really shiny swishy red pants.

i don't know why but it didn't surprise me.

everyone around me though start giggling

and pointing at him

and i felt really bad.

i think there's something wrong with me

not with everybody else and that's where we differ.

i don't know if it's better

to be sure of yourself even when you're wrong, because that way at least you're confident in what you're doing

or

if it's better

to think you're wrong even when you feel like you're right.

no body looks at fucking relativity.

everybody really likes it

and finds it easier to live like they're thoughts are solidified without stepping outside of themselves

for a second

to realize that thinking something about someone

doesn't make it true

it makes it how they feel

and i guess a lot of people don't care

because i mean

nothing really does matter

besides what you feel i guess

but i like to look at things relatively

because it makes me realize i don't have to take things so seriously.

i'm contradicting myself right now.

and all the time.

and i know it, but i just can't stop it.

i love it when people use tape for cuts instead of band-aids.

i don't care if it can't breathe.

it's one of my favorite things to see.

yesterday was so beautiful. it was so sunny.

and so nice.

and i laid on a bench in the middle of nowhere

and my stupid tights got all fucked up

but i didn't care.

every time someone walked past, i thought about what would happen if i shot them.

and then i thought about what would happen if i kissed them.

we ate fish and i wanted to cry.

how can someone be a vegetarian and hate people?

i thought they loved animals.

i like to watch people.

but i don't know how to talk to them

or be interested by a lot of them

or interest a lot of them

or interact with a lot of them.

but when i watch them i feel really good

especially when they curl up against a sunny window.

i start thinking about my cat when he basks in the sun beaming through the window. i can see all the little dust particles on him and it bothers me a little

but mostly i just like how it's natural

how some things

are just natural

to like.

i like that people are naive, and fragile,

and able to be amused.

it's precious,

and i don't think we ever really change from being a baby.

we're just different kinds of babies.

my favorite thing in the world is to look at someone's face

and to find it so unbearably beautiful, i want to cry.

you're face is that beautiful, boy.

it's so beautiful.

whenever you bite in to penicils there's always that feeling like you want to bite harder.

whenever you feel something soft

there's always that feeling like you want to have your hand immersed in it,

and it almost makes you angry, so you pull at it, and clench your fists, and scream a little until you start coughing.