i'm in such a foul mood.

its so awful.
i feel so angry, and so snippy,
and i hate Thursday's
because i hate those people
because nobody can understand what I'm saying.

know what they fucking say to me?
even if you do ONE thing that impacts someone positively
you have meaning.
know what i say?
"POSITIVE" things only exist
in the sense that
things that don't make life difficult for us/make it easier for us
are things we view as positive
and things that DO make life difficult for us/make it harder
are things we view as negative.

everybody says
but we have to have an idea of positive and negative, or good and bad
or else we'd die.

like it's a bad thing.
but fucking BAD only exists because of the creatures we happened to have been born as.
we only care about dying or living
because we were born
with human nature that drives us to self sustain.

not just live.
sustain.
exist in the easiest manner possible.
WHICH IS WHY PEOPLE KILL THEMSELVES.
Because they don't know how to sustain because they can't be fucking happy.
And without happiness, you don't want to live.

Happiness is a byproduct of things not being difficult, and that's it.
If thing's aren't difficult to experience, they're enjoyable.

I don't fucking care about myself because I know the only reason I WOULD be giving a flying fuck about anything
would not be for any genuine reason
but it would be because i was born having no other option but too.
for self sustaining purposes.

i don't want to think i'm important or anyone is important, because there's no fucking way to KNOW.
All i have to determine an answer is my MIND which quite frankly, can only work in the way Human Brains work.
As compared to "what" brains? I DONT FUCKING KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
AND NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING
Because everything we think he know, we just made up

and every one excepts it
to a point
where
it's crazy
to sit back for a second and think
"maybe we're taking ourselves to seriousley"

Why WOULD we think that.
We were BUILT to think we're important.
BECAUSE WE'RE JUST LIKE A FUCKING VIRUS

We're sustaining.
Why do people think there has to be a reason for anything?
Why do people think there has to be a beginning.
Why do people think that anything they think means anything, or has any intellect, or understanding at all.
Why do we assume?
I'm not saying we should assume otherwise
but
but
but
FUCK

none of this even matters
because all of this
all of this garbage
came out of my head
and like i fucking said

WHO THE HELL KNOWS IF MY HUMAN LOGIC IS GOOD FOR ANALYZING OR COMING TO CONCLUSIONS ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN THINGS IN MY OWN LITTLER HUMAN REALM.

I MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW A DAMN THING.
YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW A DAMN THING.

BUT THE CERTAINTY IS KILLING ME