oh, hi.

you're sick.
your nails are falling out, and sticking to your feet
because the skin on them are disintegrating due to confusion.
it's hard to remember what gravity is supposed to feel like
when you defy it so very often.

but i'm used to it by now,
so my eyes glaze over,
and get covered in sugar or salt of something so i can't even see
and it's easier that way.

you know
a year after that fuckin crock bit my leg off
it was pretty much all i thought about
but i've gotten used to this prosthetic leg
and now it's just goddamn boring.

thank you for talking to me the other day.
i really miss the hell out of you darling.
i forget to let myself be happy sometimes, and you remind me of all those wonderful times we had.
jackie said
if i don't go to college right after school though,
i'll have to pay for it.
i don't know what to do though.
i'm really torn, because i never felt more at peace with the future
then i did when we talked about me leaving.
it was the first time that panicky feeling left my chest, and i felt like i could breathe.

i want something to love.
this is all very boring.